Self work

Sometimes we feel exhausted in our life, we want to change things but people bring to us their own experiences, so many problems, sometimes we feel lost. These come from our family, our children, neighbors, colleagues, and community.  We then forget about ourselves.  Challenging ourselves might be the way to start. What is our part in all of this? someone shared these points to look after when we are doing any type of individual, marital or family work.

Mark Merrill wrote in a blog these six interesting tips:

  • Looking at ourselves means we respect others.

Human beings have free will. When we respect that truth in others, it has the effect of lowering barriers. Lowered barriers lead to increased communication.

  • Judge yourself, not them.

Once I take responsibility for myself, I tend to stop judging others. “What can I do to make family dinners more conversational?” is more effective than, “Suzie, I’m tired of your monosyllabic answers to my questions.”

  •  The domino effect.

When we change ourselves, the only change we can control, others in the family begin to relate to us differently. For example, if I show genuine interest in my wife’s day, then she is more likely to show interest in me.

  •  Owning my own feelings leads to good psychological health.

Once we stop the blame game, we clear the way to engaging our personal potential, and are no longer blocked by the sabotage of giving over the power for change to our children or our spouse.

  •  Hope enters the equation.

Once positive change begins, an atmosphere of “more change is possible,” is created. “Dad held the chair for Mom. Who knows what might happen next?!”

  •  It becomes about what I can give, not what I can get.

Changing others is about satisfying our own demands. Changing ourselves shifts the focus to service, to giving to the family, and to the kind of love that is “others” oriented instead of “self seeking.”

Read it from his blog:

professional counseling and care for the mind, body and spirit

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